Tower of Ivory - "A Rescue...."

A Rescue of a Damsel by Her Hero and His Army as Seen by a Messenger Who Never Really Wanted to Get Involved
by
Emily C. A. Snyder

"Take this to Sir Robin
And tell him to make haste.
The enemy's within these gates;
The battle will begin."
She actually talks that way.
I think she spent a couple hours composing that one phrase.
But I had my orders, although I wasn't really thrilled with the prospect. And before too long, I was exhausted,
And my horse was exhausted.
So we had to stop every five minutes,
And neither I nor my horse minded that much,
So it took half the night.
But no matter how many five minute breaks we took,
We still got there and I was greeted with fanfare
And I presented my note and my horse was given oats
And I was given food and it was worth riding half the night for.
"Men! Mount your steeds
And prove yourselves true
Of the deeds which you say you have done."
He really talks like that.
The last line didn't rhyme, but that's forgivable since he was in a hurry.
"Friend, come with thy mount
And be one of my number to count
As a member of my merry band."
And I knew by that ridiculous phrase that he didn't have two hours to compose it in
And maybe he never rhymed the last word.
And I said, "I really don't want to."
But he didn't listen and made me ride with his sweaty, grungy band of "merry" men,
Who were probably being paid for doing this.
And the enemy was there raging within the walls,
Fighting with each other since we were late because,
Hey! I deserved five minute breaks!
And the enemy saw us and put on their meanest faces,
And we started to life the portcullis,
But the wheel was stuck because there was too much rust on it.
But we kept on and a couple of hours later the portcullis was open,
And we and the enemy stopped playing cards and drew our weapons.
"Avast! Ye men!
Know that your 'our of doom is upon ye!
As sure as the moon shines on ye!"
He TALKED like that.
The enemy must be a foreign one because the rhyme scheme was different.
But I tried to pull out, maybe go back to an inn...
No such luck.
One of the enemy swiped at my head and I ducked and drew my sword
And yelled with all my might, "Down! Down be the accursed,
These barbarians! Down be our enemies!"
And it's a good thing that no one heard me because it's impolite to use free verse.
But I killed a few men and before I knew what had happened,
It was all over and Sir Robin rode up the stairs to his lady,
And the band of "merry" men went back to playing cards,
As the enemy fled, because that's what enemies do,
And I shook my head and went back to that inn.
The End