Since it now seems that nothing further can befall the inhabitants of Castle Lochlein -- the situation there being about as bad as it can be -- you and I may now leap onto my flying carpet and return to the woodcutter's cottage by the deep dark forest. (I do apologize that the seven-league boots are not available for this trip; the piskie from whom I borrowed them before could not spare them again so soon.) By the time we arrive, several days have gone by (I apologize again -- flying carpets are not quite as swift as seven-league boots), and I'm sure that, even before we land, you can already hear how distraught the woodcutter's wife has become.

The good woman was convinced that Prince Cheerful's arrival signaled the end of all her troubles, she was sure he would come back soon (although she thought Serenity had been terribly foolish to let him leave at all), and for most of that day she was perfectly happy. For a time the woodcutter's wife was able to exchange thoughts of being a toad for thoughts of what a lovely wedding Serenity and the Prince would have. However, as the days went by and the Prince did not return, she once again succumbed to a dreadful contemplation of the mill pond, the lily pad, grasshoppers, and webbed toes.

Finally she declared that her nerves could not stand the suspense any longer, and she issued her ultimatum: if husbands would not come to her daughters, then her daughters must go out into the world to seek them. So she marched right out into the back garden, where she went to the poultry coop and plucked five feathers from the tail of her best goose. (The goose was mightily indignant at this treatment, and in retaliation she refused to lay any eggs for a whole week.) Then the woodcutter's wife made up five little journey packs of bread and cheese for her daughters to carry, and herded them all down to the crossroads in the market square. Handing one feather to each girl, she instructed them to toss the feathers up in the air; wherever they landed would be the direction they would take to look for their husbands.

Caprice treated the whole situation as an enormous joke, but she reflected that at least it would be an opportunity for her to get away from the woodcutter's cottage (which she thought was terribly poky and drab) and have some fun. So she spun around in a dizzy circle and threw her feather, not caring where it should go; but she clapped her hands and crowed with delight when she saw that it landed on the road leading southwards out of the village. This road eventually ended at a bustling town where everybody who was anybody went for sea bathing, and there Caprice felt she would find infinite sources of amusement. Clutching her little bundle of provisions, she waved goodbye to her sisters and skipped away down the road.

Echo tried to nudge her feather towards the same spot where Caprice's feather had landed, but a little gust of wind carried it out of her reach. Her mother was terribly vexed when she saw the feather drop onto the road which went away eastwards from the marketplace, for this road led nowhere but back to the woodcutter's cottage. However, the woodcutter's wife reflected, Caprice's destination looked promising (and the dear child was such a darling that she deserved to go somewhere exciting), and the other three had not taken their turns yet. Poor Echo hung her head and slowly started walking back home, and she wasn't halfway there before she picked up a stone in her shoe which gave her a blister.

Solemnity's feather offered no comfort either, for it came to rest on the road which traveled westwards from the square. At the end of this road was the common land of the village, where all the farmers shared in the work of tilling their crops. The woodcutter's wife didn't see how there could be anything particularly interesting in this direction, since no one over there could satisfy her plan of marrying all of her daughters to kings, princes, or sorcerers; however, Solemnity was perfectly content with her lot. Having bid her sisters farewell and safe journey, she walked down the road at a calm, reasonable pace until she found a nice shady tree at the edge of the farmland, and against its trunk she settled herself. To pass the time, she read a book on organic farming and crop rotation methods that she had smuggled into her pack. Perhaps, she thought, someone would come by who would appreciate the story of her prize squash!

The woodcutter's wife now turned to her two daughters who still remained in the market square, as much as to say, "If your feathers go astray, I may as well start collecting flies!" While their sisters' destinations were being determined, Beauty and Serenity had agreed that under no circumstances would they be parted, so they tied their two feathers together with a piece of thread. Serenity then closed her eyes as Beauty tossed the feathers up in the air; she was too nervous to watch them fall.

Beauty -- being a very clever girl, in addition to being a very pretty one -- wasn't at all averse to giving her fate a helping hand, and besides, she had some idea of where she and Serenity should go. So, she waited until the little breeze died down before she released the feathers, and she blew on them ever so lightly as they left her grasp. When Serenity opened her eyes, she saw that the feathers had softly spiraled down onto the road which led northwards from the village -- and this was the road that led to the Kingdom of Lochlein.

Now was their mother happy! For even she knew that Lochlein was a prosperous kingdom, and her two daughters (even if they were not quite as merry and charming as dear little Caprice) would surely find rich husbands there. Perhaps they could each marry a lord and have a place at court, and then they could give grand balls and banquets, to which their other sisters would be invited, where they would surely meet other rich, eligible men! And then she could convince her husband the woodcutter to give up woodcutting entirely, and they could move to a comfortable house in one of the larger towns in Lochlein -- nothing too fancy, but suitable for the parents of a lord's wife, of course, provided they could find a house whose drawing room wasn't too drafty.

The woodcutter's eldest daughters kissed their mother goodbye and went walking off together along the north road. They were excited by the prospect of a journey, the weather was fine, and they had each other for company; what more could they wish for? They therefore traveled along in the best possible spirits, chattering and laughing together, and admiring the pleasant countryside. And if Serenity's favorite way of passing the time while they walked was speaking of the many perfections of Prince Cheerful's person and manner, Beauty had no objection; she only teased her sister gently by pretending to think that the Prince's hair couldn't possibly be as golden and his eyes couldn't possibly be as blue as Serenity remembered them.

They met a variety of fellow travelers along their road, including a friendly dairymaid who gave them a fresh bowl of milk to drink with their bread and cheese, a generous farmer who let them sleep in his hayloft one night, and a helpful tinker who insisted that they ride for a while in his cart in order to rest their feet. The two girls often asked for directions, since they wanted to be sure of their road, and most of the people they encountered would point the way with courtesy and good humor. However, when Beauty and Serenity accosted an ancient gentleman in a tattered robe, who was supporting himself on a peculiar twisted staff as he hobbled along, they received a different type of response than what they had come to expect.

"Good day, grandfather," Beauty said as he approached. "I hope your travel has not overtired you. We passed a farmhouse not long ago, and I'm sure they would let you rest there a while."

"Saucy wench! There is plenty of strengh left in me, no matter if I am old, and I don't need any impudent hussy like you telling me when I should take my ease," he spat in reply.

Both Beauty and Serenity were surprised by his irritable manner, since everyone else on the road had been so friendly. Beauty longed to retort with a suitably sharp remark, but respect for the man's advanced age kept her civil. "I beg your pardon, grandfather. I did not mean to imply you were not fit for travel, since you have obviously come a long way."

The old man was not mollified. "And I have a long way to go yet, so I have no time to waste on idle creatures like yourself. Be off with you!"

"Before you go, grandfather, could you tell us if we are on the right road to Lochlein?" Beauty quickly asked before the old man could depart.

Her question seemed to catch the old man's interest, and he turned a surprisingly bright eye upon Beauty and her sister. "Lochlein, eh? This is the road, but why would you want to go there? Don't you know what has happened?"

"We have heard nothing, good sir," Serenity said.

"Well, let me tell you, it's not the safe, prosperous kingdom it used to be! The castle has been invaded by a terrible, ugly, malicious Beast, who has laid waste to the countryside and put the entire palace under a wicked enchantment! The King, his sister, and his closest advisor haven't been seen since the Beast arrived, and there is some fear that the Beast has eaten all of them! And then there's Prince Cheerful, from one of Lochlein's neighboring kingdoms -- he came to do battle with the Beast and slay him, but no one knows what has become of the Prince since he entered the castle! It's my guess that either he became trapped in the enchantment, or he was eaten along with everyone else!"

A small shriek from Serenity greeted this revelation. "Beauty, let us make haste! If any tragedy has befallen dear Cheerful, we must help him!" And despite her name, Serenity became quite agitated, and she practically dragged her sister away, barely giving them time to take leave of the old man properly and thank him for his information.

As for the old man himself, well, he stood in the middle of the road for a short while, watching the two girls hurry off and chuckling to himself as he thought of the exaggerated tale he had told them. Surely, innocent as they were, those two wouldn't hesitate to believe a respectable, if grouchy, old man! The Beast would get no help from them, and the spells enveloping the King and his castle would continue unbroken.

Now, if anyone else had passed by at just that moment, they would have seen a strange shimmer in the air -- and although it was an old man who had walked to that place in the road, it was the wizard who walked away.

As Beauty and Serenity approached the border lands between their country and the Kingdom of Lochlein, they met fewer and fewer people. Eventually they found themselves all alone, so they had no one to advise them which direction to take when they came to a fork in the road. They decided to wait under a nearby tree for a few moments, to catch their breath and to see if anyone might come along who could tell them which way they ought to go.

Beauty was the first to catch sight of two figures hurrying towards them down the left side of the fork, and she was somewhat startled at their appearance. One was a very handsome young man dressed all in black, with a finely crafted sword hanging from his belt; his fair hair was thoroughly tousled, and his eyes were the color of the sea before a storm. His companion was a very beautiful young woman whose hair was just as fair and just as tousled, and she was wearing a red gown that had certainly seen better days: the hem was torn, part was burnt, and a few folds were actually dripping sand. The very handsome young man put his hand on his sword and moved protectively in front of his companion when he first saw Beauty and Serenity, but as soon as he determined the two girls weren't dangerous, he greeted them quite politely.

"How d'ye do? I say, could you tell us the way to Florin? I'm the Dread Pirate Roberts, and I need to get back to my ship."

Beauty and Serenity apologized for not being able to help; being unfamiliar with this part of the country, they did not know how to get to Florin. In fact, they told the very handsome young man, they were looking for the right road to Lochlein.

"Lochlein?" the very handsome young man repeated. "Never heard of it. But however you go, I wouldn't recommend that you go the way that we came from. That is the road to the Kingdom of Guilder, and along that road lies the Fire Swamp. Although we know its secrets and could live there quite happily -- the trees are really quite lovely -- it's no place for the two of you."

The very beautiful young woman tugged at his sleeve. "Westley, you must warn them about the ROUSes."

He turned an adoring gaze to his companion. "As you wish, my darling Buttercup." Then he returned his attention to Beauty and Serenity. "You'll also avoid meeting any Rodents of Unusual Size -- nasty creatures, believe me -- if you take care to stay out of the Fire Swamp."

The very beautiful young woman tugged at his sleeve again. "We must go, Westley." She looked apologetically at Beauty and Serenity, saying, "When you're being hunted by a prince who can track a falcon on a cloudy day, you haven't a moment to spare."

Again the adoring gaze. "As you wish." He flashed a dazzling white smile to the two girls, who were still sitting under the tree at the side of the road. "I do beg your pardon, but we must be off. If you happen to meet a Giant and a Spaniard, you could tell them which direction we've gone, but we'd take it as a great favor if you wouldn't mention to anyone else that you'd seen us -- particularly if you encounter Prince Humperdinck or Count Rugen."

And with that the pair hurried off down the road. A rather bemused Beauty watched them go, thinking with sisterly pride that Serenity was much more beautiful than the young woman in the red gown; all the while Serenity was dreamily considering that the handsome young man in black wasn't nearly as attractive as Prince Cheerful. When they were all alone again, however, Serenity stood up and brushed off her skirts, telling her sister that they should start moving again.

The two sisters therefore followed the right side of the fork, and they soon crossed over the border into Lochlein. Soon the road was once again lined with small cottages and tilled fields, and more people started appearing. Most of them seemed quite ordinary, like the farmer on the way home from weeding his cornfield, who tipped his hat to them as he passed; but there were a few who seemed rather odd. One of these was a homely young lad who introduced himself as Jack. He walked along with Beauty and Serenity for a while, telling them a fantastic story about the hen that he was holding under his arm. He claimed to have stolen it from a giant that lived at the top of a magic beanstalk, and he said that it (the hen, not the giant) laid golden eggs! He told them he planned to climb the beanstalk again tomorrow, in order to steal a magic harp that the giant owned -- only it wasn't really stealing, since the giant's castle had once belonged to his father, who was a knight. Beauty, suspecting the young man was not quite right in the head, was quite glad when he turned off into a side lane towards his own home.

No sooner had that young man gone, however, when another came along! This one also introduced himself as Jack, but he was holding a goose (which looked golden, but surely that was a trick of the light) under his arm, and he had no less than six people following close behind him, most of whom were calling the youth rather vulgar names and describing in great detail what they would do to him if they could free themselves. This Jack, however, kept walking right along as if he could neither hear nor see his unwilling followers. Serenity felt sorry for this parade of people, and she was just about to grab the last in line to see if she could pull him loose -- but Beauty held her back.

"We'd better keep out of this," she said. "There is something more unusual here than boys with an extreme fondness for poultry and mothers with a deplorable lack of imagination for naming their sons."

So, they only watched as the young man, the goose, and the crowd of people trotted off down the road. "What a strange country this is!" Serenity cried. "The very air seems full of magic -- or madness, depending on how you look at it. Do you think this is because of the Beast?" But Beauty could not answer her sister's question and said that they would surely find out when they got to the castle.

They walked on without any more unusual encounters, and just when the heat and dust became too much for them, they found a little stream running beside the road. No sooner had they sat down on its banks to rest than they heard a pitiful voice cry out, "Oh, someone please help me, or I shall die of thirst!"

Beauty and Serenity quickly parted the long grass beside the stream to see what creature could be in such distress, and there they discovered the Fox, whose lustrous black eyes seemed glazed with fatigue, and who was panting miserably. While Beauty made the animal as comfortable as she could, pillowing his head on her skirts and stroking his fur soothingly, Serenity fetched some water from the little stream. After the Fox had lapped some water out of her cupped hands and refreshed himself, he quickly sprang to his paws again.

"Since you have both shown such kindness to me, I will help you in return. Come with me, and I'll have you at Castle Lochlein in no time."

The two girls were overjoyed at the Fox's offer and said they would be very grateful for his assistance. Not only would they get to the castle days sooner than they expected, they would not encounter any more near-lunatics on the road! He instructed them to sit on his tail and hold tight to his fur, and once the girls were settled, he was off like the wind. Roads, meadows, and streams all blurred away beneath the Fox's paws, and almost before Beauty and Serenity had time to be astonished at their speed, they had halted at the gate of an enormous castle.

"Here we are at Castle Lochlein, as I promised," said the Fox, "but now I must leave you."

Beauty and Serenity thanked the Fox a thousand times for his help, and they begged him to stay and help them further, calling him a dear friend and scratching his ears in just the right spot. The Fox was touched by their affectionate attention, but he insisted that he could not go inside with them.

"However," he said, "I will tell each of you a secret before I go, so listen carefully." The Fox then moved close to Serenity, making sure his whiskers didn't tickle her ear, and whispered:

"When your heart in a casket is sleeping,
Find the keys and don't waste your time weeping.
If you're faithful and kind,
Some true friends you will find.
Your reward is a love that's worth keeping!"

Then approaching Beauty, the Fox whispered:

"To aid you I give you this token;
Remember the words that I've spoken.
If you sense some disguise,
Let your heart be your eyes,
And in no time the spell will be broken!"

The two girls faithfully promised the Fox that they would not forget what he told them, and they waved farewell to their new friend as he sped down the road and out of sight.

(c) 1998
By Liz McKenna
All Rights Reserved
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