Tower of Ivory - "The Gigabytes Strike Back"

The Gigabytes Strike Back
by
Julie A. Snyder

Illustrated by Emily C. A. Snyder

"When you sit down to a computer it’s out to get you." Piers Anthony

Michelle flipped the ON-switch of her computer.

=BEH-DEEP!---CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK=

The RAM test ran in front of her eyes,

=CLICK-CLICK-CLICK---CLICK---CLICK--------CLICK-----------BEEEEEEP!!!!=

the menu options came up,

=POP!=

and after a few clicks of the mouse, Michelle was starting her homework.

=CLICK-CLICKETY-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK---BWAH-AH-BWAH-AH----THIS PROGRAM HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION---IT WILL CLOSE=

"Aww, c’mon…"

The screen flickered slyly and shut down the word program. With a long-suffering roll of her eyes, Michelle logged back on and began again.

--Michelle Russy Syracuse English January 22….--

=DO YOU WANT TO SAVE FILE?= the computer blinked at her.

"What? Save-?"

=PLEASE ENTER FILE NAME=

"Grumble, grumble, grumble."

--Syracuse Engli—

=THANK YOU. WORD WILL NOW LOG OFF.=

"WHAT!!!! You stupid %@#!*&$ computer!!! Log ON!"

She clicked on the word program icon and immediately solitaire popped up.

=POP!=

"Look here, you…"

=THIS COMPUTER HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION

---IT WILL CLOSE=

"%$#@ &^%# !@*&"

Michelle pressed the reset button and the RAM came up…again.

=BEH-DEEP!---CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK- CLICK-CLICK-CLICK---CLICK---CLICK--------CLICK-----------BEEEEEEP!!!!=

The menu options came up…also again.

=POP!=

As quickly as she could, Michelle opened the word program and finished her homework contentedly. When done, she turned on the printer and went into FILE PRINT.

=DO YOU WANT TO PRINT ALL?=

"Yes. I want to print all, now hurry up."

=PRINTING PAGE 1 OF 3---BEEP-CH-CHUNK-ZZIIOPPP-FIZZZZZZ---POP!---PRINTING PAUSED=

"AUUUGHHHH. All right, listen to me. If you don’t print out this time I’m gonna take your dot-matrix uncle hostage!"

Again she clicked on PRINT.

=DO YOU WANT TO PRINT ALL?=

"::Sigh::"

Michelle waited for the sound of the ink-cartridge upon paper, but was only rewarded with:

=POP---PRINTING PAUSED---MUST WAIT FOR OTHER DOCUMENT-TO-BE-PRINTED=
"Noooo!!! I’m going to kill you! I’m going to tear your li’l print-cartridge heart out! You and the rest of your family won’t live to see the light of day!"

The computer blinked (or chuckled, as it seemed) evilly.

=BLINK-POP!---THIS COMPUTER HAS PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION---IT WILL CLOSE=

"I give up. I just give up!"

The screen turned black and the computer shut down.

=BEEP-CH-CHUNK-ZZIIOPP-FIZZZZZZ=

But wait! The printer was still alive!

=ZZ-ZIP-ZZ-ZIP-ZZ-ZIP…=

Out came the three pages, fully printed. Michelle gleefully took them out and patted the printer. "At least you like me!"

The printer turned off with an ominous blink and an evil cackle.

Michelle took her precious papers and sat down at the table. She rested her cheek on her hand and looked down at the print. Her eyes opened wide.

"What the -- nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"

…Printed all over the paper were AOL happy faces…
The End